I notice that it is quite a struggle for myself to get on video what I actually want to say. How do I want to present myself? What do I really want to say? I often have so many beautiful things in my head and when it comes down to video or when I want to make a podcast (I only have two of those) then it just doesn’t come out. And especially after a terrible situation with Cindy a few days ago, I notice a lot of obstacles in myself.

I hiked today on day 54 from Ngarauwahia to Hamilton. As Cindy also said, maybe I should just walk, love myself, and do my thing. So that’s why I let it all go for a while, and that’s good for now. At the same time, I also thought: “I don’t just want to keep giving everything a rest, even if I let it go a bit more now, the development of my dream and mission also has to get started.”  I also want to keep going, but maybe some things have time to emerge and I leave them for what they are. “Yes, if I don’t have it, I better not force it.”