Socialize or not to socialize…

Day 6 on the trail.  After a roadwalk I arrived at the hostel.  I notice that I find it difficult to communicate with fellow hikers.  There is not much collaboration or effort to clarify certain things.  When I ask questions and I don’t receive a positieve or clear answer, I get confused and uncomfortable.  I was able to express those feelings to them, they listened and laughed about the situation, but I don’t think they really understood what it was about…  Connecting with other people is difficult at times when they don’t share their feelings, their thoughts in an honnest way, in some way I can feel that and that makes me and the situation confusing and exciting.  

I went to my own room to get some sleep.  After sleeping I was able to socialize, which made me more positive.  Experiences and vulnerabiliteits were shared.  I like that.  

I noticed that this afternoon I had been very busy in my head, because there were a lot of things that I suddenly wanted to do for my channels, talks, inspiration, route, crowdfunding, self-care, shopping.  My head almost exploded.  I also chatted with Cindy and found myself wanting to share every little detail.  It was so exhausting…  In the end my head was so full that I didn’t actually do anything at all for hours, the irony… It was just too much.  It seemed also impossible to step back at that time.  Until a moment when I really decided to take a break.  Breathing.  I made a list so I was able to tackle everything one by one.  That helped.  I allowed myself a shower and then treated myself to dinner across the street in the restaurant.   

I know.  Selfcare is very important.  I doesn’t help me drown myself in negative thinking.  I know.  But at some moments it is hard to see it and change it…  I’m always glad I succeed in doing it at one point…  

When I returned to the hostel I saw that I had received a donation with a nice response from my crowdfunding campaign, which made me very happy.  I fell asleep, satisfied.